Bernardo Santos

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Essex boy Jim is so beautiful you'd think a Greek sculpture had just come to life, but with no future in the cultural-desert that is his small town and the prospect of fame, fortune and cultural stimulation beckoning in Soho, like many before him, Jim journeys to London.

On his first night, Jim is robbed and left penniless. He spends the night in an intricately made DIY cardboard box home with a homeless kid who suggests he join 'The Raconteurs' - a coterie of male escorts whose unique selling point is their encyclopaedic knowledge of the arts.

What follows is Jim's comic descent from unsuccessful escort, to artist's muse and art authenticator - a journey complicated by a rare psychosomatic condition called 'Stendhal Syndrome' which renders him painfully oversensitive to art. Jim's encounters with paintings by artists such as Caravaggio cause fainting and hallucinations. But while this condition threatens to bring about his downfall it might also open up new opportunities if Jim is willing to grab them.

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Arifa reaches a crisis in her life when the escalation of her feelings for intriguing but capricious professional 'gamer' Riccardo, coincides with the reappearance of her estranged black-market tobacco peddling father.

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A chaotic battle ensues between Jerry Mouse, who has taken refuge in the Royal Gate Hotel, and Tom Cat, who is hired to drive him away before the day of a big wedding arrives.